Showing posts with label coincidences. Show all posts
Showing posts with label coincidences. Show all posts

Monday, August 9, 2010

The Tortoise and the Hare aka A Tale of Two Devils

*the events in this story are mostly true. the people, real(ish).

Speaking of uncanny coincidences. My brother came to visit me the other day. He's later than the proverbial hare! He called weeks ago to tell me he was coming. But since he was already at my back door, I had no choice but to let him in.

This is my brother:

Sibling Revelry

And in more recent times:


Kickin' it to the side

Josh likes beer, girls & a few other things I won't mention. I have dubbed him The Hillbilly Gangsta. If you knew him, you'd think the nickname was spot on. Josh is one of my favourite people, and not just because he is my only sibling. He's the epitome of laidback, what you would call a fun-lovin' guy.

When we were kids, he was my guinea pig. Whenever there was some daredevil stunt to be performed, Josh went first. If he was successful, my turn! If not, he usually found himself in the hospital & all the fun was spoiled. Don't get me wrong, I'm no sadist (quite the opposite actually!), I'm just enterprising & clever enough to hide the evidence of my masochism. Which is why he's had far more scrapes, bruises, broken bones & stones in his face than I! (If you believe in karma, it will please you to note that I am diabetic & spend far more time than I would like in hospitals & waiting rooms).

Three other reasons I love my brother: he has J-O-S-H tatooed across his knuckles, he says "I'm just Josh'n ya" all the time (which I find pathetic & hilarious at the same time) & his laugh is infectious. Try not laughing around him. I dare you.

Anyway, back to the story.

Josh brought two friends with him when he visited. We listened to some records, drank some beer & laughed & talked about my artwork & why I'm not famous (I have a few theories) & somehow found ourselves discussing vegetarianism & I brought up the word fortified (I NEVER use the word fortified).

Josh & his friends laughed uproariously at the mention of this word. Turns out that very morning they had decided FORTIFIED was the word of the day!

Can you believe it?!

Neither could I. Considering the nature of my blog.

We had a good laugh about it & I thought about the phenomenal ability of the brain to record & store inconceivable amounts of information. And the uncanny. I think a lot about the uncanny. So much so that I'm starting to see IT everywhere. Ahhhhhh. 

Maybe it is just a necessary function of the brain to see a particular word (or number) everywhere you look after recently becoming conscious of it, but it sure is F-U-N!

And to up the uncanny factor, I later bought fortified milk & vitamins. And drank more beer!

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In short, my friends, spontaneous visits from my brother are fortifying to the spirits & my time with him reminded me that my life is truly uncanny. Every day.

Devils for life!

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Part 1 of A Season in Hell
Arthur Rimbaud
translated by Bertrand Mathieu

A while back, if I remember right, my life was one long party where all hearts were open wide, where all wines kept flowing.

One night, I sat Beauty down on my lap.—And I found her galling.—And I roughed her up.

I armed myself against justice.

I ran away. O witches, O misery, O hatred, my treasure's been turned over to you!

I managed to make every trace of human hope vanish from my mind. I pounced on every joy like a ferocious animal eager to strangle it.

I called for executioners so that, while dying, I could bite the butts of their rifles. I called for plagues to choke me with sand, with blood. Bad luck was my god. I stretched out in the muck. I dried myself in the air of crime. And I played tricks on insanity.

And Spring brought me the frightening laugh of the idiot.

So, just recently, when I found myself on the brink of the final squawk! it dawned on me to look again for the key to that ancient party where I might find my appetite once more.

Charity is that key.—This inspiration proves I was dreaming!

"You'll always be a hyena etc. . . ," yells the devil, who'd crowned me with such pretty poppies. "Deserve death with all your appetites, your selfishness, and all the capital sins!"

Ah! I've been through too much:-But, sweet Satan, I beg of you, a less blazing eye! and while waiting for the new little cowardly gestures yet to come, since you like an absence of descriptive or didactic skills in a writer, let me rip out these few ghastly pages from my notebook of the damned.

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Sunday, August 8, 2010

Schadenfreude

I like birthdays.

Someone I love very drearily celebrated his 30th birthday just two days ago! Having passed that milestone myself a few years back, I take great pleasure in his misfortune. Ha ha ha.

Just imagine being THIS guy:

Tagline: It'll be a killer party!

The best thing about birthdays isn't the eating, the drinking, nor is it even being scary (or merry if you prefer that), it's the trivial coincidences. You know, like who else was born (or died) on the same day. Now that's fun!

My lovely friend shares his day of birth, August 6th, with numerous (in)famous folks: Alfred Lord Tennyson (& he died the day before MY birthday!), Edith Roosevelt, Dutch Shultz (American gangster & bootlegger), Andy Warhol, Vinnie Vincent, Elliott Smith, Geri (Ginger Spice) Halliwell, JonBenĂ©t Ramsay, a whole slew of sporty folks (particularly cricket players) & Punky Brewster (Soleil Moon Frye)!

And, I'll bet you didn't know, four Pope's died on August 6th, as did Ben Johnson, Shakespeare's wife, Anne Hathaway, Diego Velasquez, Rick James, & John Hughes.

Pretty uncanny, right?

Nope.

Blame it on the Birthday Paradox.

What's that you say? Well, it's got a lot to do with Probability Theory. The Birthday Paradox states that you only need a group of 23 people for there to be a 50% chance that at least one random pair of said people will share the same birthday. I'm a bit lost when it comes to the actual mathematics behind the Birthday Paradox, but I do understand the implications.

We are often surprised to learn that we share our birth day with someone else (particularly when that person is a complete stranger we have just met), yet there is actually a pretty good chance that it can happen. A much better chance than we intuit. By the time you reach about 57 people or so, the chances are 99%! Holy coincidence! For further reading, this guy puts it nicely (and with comic flair & only a smidgen of math): http://www.damninteresting.com/the-birthday-paradox

There is nothing supernatural (uncanny) about sharing your birthday with someone else. It's completely probable & predictable.

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All Things Will Die
Alfred Lord Tennyson

Clearly the blue river chimes in its flowing
Under my eye;
Warmly and broadly the south winds are blowing
Over the sky.
One after another the white clouds are fleeting;
Every heart this May morning in joyance is beating
Full merrily;
Yet all things must die.
The stream will cease to flow;
The wind will cease to blow;
The clouds will cease to fleet;
The heart will cease to beat;
For all things must die.
All things must die.
Spring will come never more.
O, vanity!
Death waits at the door.
See! our friends are all forsaking
The wine and the merrymaking.
We are call’d–we must go.
Laid low, very low,
In the dark we must lie.
The merry glees are still;
The voice of the bird
Shall no more be heard,
Nor the wind on the hill.
O, misery!
Hark! death is calling
While I speak to ye,
The jaw is falling,
The red cheek paling,
The strong limbs failing;
Ice with the warm blood mixing;
The eyeballs fixing.
Nine times goes the passing bell:
Ye merry souls, farewell.
The old earth
Had a birth,
As all men know,
Long ago.
And the old earth must die.
So let the warm winds range,
And the blue wave beat the shore;
For even and morn
Ye will never see
Thro’ eternity.
All things were born.
Ye will come never more,
For all things must die.

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Happy Birthday, Devin. You may be OLD, but at least you're not dead!

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